Cybersex

Cybersex or computer sex is a virtual sex encounter in which two or more persons connected remotely via a computer network send one another sexually explicit messages describing a sexual experience. It is a form of role-playing in which the participants pretend they are having actual sexual intercourse, by describing their actions and responding to their chat partners in a mostly written form designed to stimulate their own sexual feelings and fantasies. The quality of a cybersex encounter typically depends upon the participants' abilities to evoke a vivid, visceral mental picture in the minds of their partners; imagination and suspension of disbelief are also critically important. Cybersex is sometimes colloquially called "cybering". Channels used to initiate cybersex are not necessarily exclusively devoted to that subjects, and participants in any Internet chat may suddenly receive a message with the text "Wanna cyber?"

Characteristics

Cybersex is seen by some as a humorous, pointless, insignificant and meaningless act that carries no real emotional weight or emotional repercussions. Others believe that the sexual feeling exhibited by participants in virtual intercourse is very real and can be as equally damaging emotionally as real intercourse. This problem is particularly exasperated by the fact that a significant proportion of computer sex participants are under the age of consent (which is 18 in most cultures), and are not aware that computer sex can lead to real desire or feeling toward the partner, accompanied with emotional distress after realisation that such desire cannot be fulfilled.

Cybersex is most commonly performed in Internet chat rooms (such as IRC or web chats) and on instant messaging systems. The increasing popularity of webcams has also resulted in an increase in couples using two-way video connections to "expose" themselves to their online chat partners, enhancing the act by giving it a more visual aspect. The act of exchanging sexually explicit email may also be considered cybersex. It is often used for the purpose of enhancing masturbation or as an introduction to arranging a meeting for sexual intercourse. While these activities are common, it is difficult to make precise statistical claims, and the prevalence of cybersex of course depends highly on the availability of Internet access. Similar roleplays and chat may be carried out over SMS.

Cybersex is different from phone sex in having a higher degree of anonymity and the ease of finding a partner. Cybersex often happens between strangers or people who have just met online. Unlike phone sex, cybersex is rarely commercial.

One approach to cybering is a simulation of "real" sex, when participants try to make the experience as close to real life as possible. Alternatively, it can be considered a form of role playing that allows a couple to experience unusual sexual sensations and carry out sexual experiements they can't try in reality. Amongst "serious" roleplayers, cybering may occur as part of a larger plot - the characters involved may be lovers or spouses, or a character could be raped to initiate a plotline. In situations like this, the people typing often consider themselves separate entities from the "people" engaging in the sexual acts.

Cybersex is often ridiculed because the partners frequently have no knowledge whatsoever about each other -- the person at the other end could be male or female. Since the primary point of cybersex is the realistic simulation of sexual activity, this knowledge is not always desired or necessary.

Dangers and advantages

Cybersex is dangerous in that the user cannot in many cases realise the identity of the other participant(s), and so computer sex acts can result in difficult or embarrassing social repercussions in the workplace, school or similar environments. Furthermore, cybersex can be negatively used to create emotional bonds (particularly in younger participants) that might lead to the manipulation of the user by the other partner in the virtual relationship.

Cybersex might, however, be looked upon as favourable. It satisfies sexual desires without the risk of sexually transmitted disease, it's a safe way for people who are physical virgins to experiment and it's sometimes even practiced by existing real-life partners as a different form of sexual gratification.

Ethics

Debate continues among moralists on whether cybersex is a form of infidelity. While it does not involve physical contact, critics claim that the powerful emotions involved can cause marital stress, especially when cybersex culminates in an Internet romance. In several known cases Internet adultery became the ground for divorce.

There is also the separate risk factor of Internet addiction, which is perceived to be a cause of social isolation and loss of work productivity.

Cybersex and pedophilia

Pedophiles and ephebophiles have been known to engage in cybersex with underage users. In the course of such conversations, they sometimes try to send child pornography across the network, or to arrange meetings. See also grooming a child.

In the United States, police pose as underage boys or girls in chat rooms in order to bait pedophiles (see, e.g., "Who's 14, 'Kewl' and Flirty Online?; A 39-Year-Old Detective, and He Knows His Bra Size", The New York Times, April 7, 2003). On one occasion, an elderly man from Georgia flew into Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport in Atlanta to meet what he thought was an underage girl he had met online to have sex with, but he met with sheriff's deputies instead. Another time, a teacher from Minnesota was arrested by FBI agents in Yuma, Arizona's airport, after he had arranged online to meet and have sex with what he thought were two eight-year-old Mexican girls.

This practice is sometimes somewhat controversial, and in some cases may be considered a form of entrapment. In one case, a gay male journalist who was known as an advocate for gay youth had been corresponding with a person he thought was a gay teenage boy; the journalist was arrested after the boy asked to meet him. The case was dismissed when it was revealed that all talk of sex had been initiated by the "boy", and the judge ruled that the prosecution had failed to show the journalist had any intention of meeting the "boy" for sex. [1]

This practice of baiting has also become popular among some regular users, who try to troll pedophiles and others and put the log files of such conversations online in a form of vigilantism. One site known for such actions is Perverted-Justice.com.

See also

• Long-distance intercourse