Emotional abuse

There is no single accepted definition of emotional abuse which, like other forms of violence in a relationship, is based on power and domination.

The following lists indicators that you can use to gauge whether you are being subjected to emotional abuse (adapted from [1]):

You understand their feelings, but they never attempt to understand yours
They dismiss your difficulties or issues as unimportant or an overreaction
They do not listen to you
They always put their needs before yours
They expect you to perform tasks that you find unpleasant or humiliating
You walk on eggshells in an effort not to upset them
They ignore logic and prefer histrionics in order to remain the centre of attention
They manipulate you into feeling guilty for things that have nothing to do with you
They attempt to destroy any outside support you receive by belittling that support in an effort to retain exclusive control over your emotions
They never take responsibility for hurting others
They blame everyone and everything else for any unfortunate events in their lives
They perceive themselves as martyrs or victims and constantly expect preferential treatment.

Contents

1 Emotional Abuse Indicators

1.1 Rejection
1.2 Degradation
1.3 Terror
1.4 Isolation
1.5 Corruption and Exploitation
1.6 Emotional Unresponsiveness

2 Emotional Abuse Indicators

3 Also see

4 Links

Emotional Abuse Indicators

Rejection

Rejection occurs from a refusal to acknowledge a person's presence, value or worth, It is achieved by communicating to a person that she or he is useless or inferior and by devaluing that person's thoughts and feelings. For example, continually treating a child differently from siblings in a way that is unfair and suggests dislike for the child.

Degradation

This occurs from the use of insulting behaviour, such as ridiculing, name calling, imitating and infantilizing. It aims to diminish the dignity and self-worth of the person, and affects their sense of identity in a demeaning way. Examples include: yelling, swearing, publicly humiliating or labelling a person as stupid; mimicking a person's disability; or treating someone as though they were much younger than they are and preventing them from making normal decisions.

Terror

This is the evocation of extreme fear in a person, done by coercion through intimidation. It can include placing or threatening to place a person in an unfit or dangerous environment. Examples include: making a child watch violence perpetrated on people the child cares about or a pet; making threats to abandon or kill a child; threatening to damage a person's possessions; stalking.

Isolation

Isolation is the limiting of a person's freedom to engage in normal association with others. It may involve physical confinement. Examples include: preventing an older child from participating in decisions about their own life; locking a child in a cupboard or in a room alone; disallowing a partner or older child from using their own money or making financial decisions; withholding contact with grandchildren; depriving a person of mobility aids or transport.

Corruption and Exploitation

Corruption involves training a person to accept ideas or behaviour that is illegal or transgresses cultural mores. Exploitation involves using a person for advantage or profit. The grooming of a child to serve the interests of the abuser rather than those of the child may occur prior to actual exploitation. Examples include: child sexual abuse; permitting a child to use alcohol or drugs or see pornography; or enticing a person into the sex trade.

Emotional Unresponsiveness

This entails the failure to provide care in a sensitive and responsive manner and is manifested by being detached and uninvolved, interacting only when necessary and ignoring a person's mental health needs. Examples include: ignoring a child's attempt to interact; failure to show a child affection; treating someone as though they are an object, "a job to be done".

Emotional Abuse Indicators

Emotional abuse can be difficult to observe when it is perpetrated in the privacy of someone else's home, or in a closed institution. However, personal awareness and understanding of the issue is key to recognizing it. The following is a list of possible indicators of emotional abuse:

depression
withdrawal
low self-esteem
severe anxiety
fearfulness
failure to thrive in infancy
aggression
emotional instability
sleep disturbances
physical complaints with no medical basis
inappropriate behaviour for age or development
overly passive/compliant
suicide attempts or discussion
extreme dependence
underachievement
inability to trust
stealing
other forms of abuse present or suspected
feelings of shame and guilt
frequent crying
self-blame or self-deprecation
delay or refusal of medical treatment
discomfort or nervousness around career or relative
substance abuse
avoidance of eye contact