The Philosophers' Football Match

The Philosopher's Football Match was a comedy sketch on Monty Python's Flying Circus.

The sketch depicted a football (soccer) match between philosophers representing Greece and Germany, including Plato, Socrates and Aristotle on the Greek team, and Heidegger, Marx and Nietzche on the German team. Instead of playing, the philosophers competed by thinking. This left Franz Beckenbauer, the sole genuine footballer on the pitch (and a "surprise inclusion" in the German team, according to the commentary), more than a little confused. Confucious was the referee and Thomas Aquinas and St. Augustine were the linesmen.